


Half Bassed Popcorn

by ThinkingCAPSLOCK



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Black Romance, F/F, Modern
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-10
Updated: 2012-04-10
Packaged: 2017-11-03 09:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThinkingCAPSLOCK/pseuds/ThinkingCAPSLOCK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy never could get through a stay at home hate date without drinking something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half Bassed Popcorn

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation on tumblr user wecansexy's blog relating to the need for more domestic hatedates, and the need for Roxy and Meenah blackrom.

A faint buzz filled the back of the air as Roxy hovered in front of the cabinet, shifting from one pink sock to the next. Her eyes scanned over the different options before her - did she want red wine, whiskey, rum? Really, there were just too many choices that day, and she already felt a bit tipsy from that gin and tonic she had made earlier. It didn't particularly matter to _her_ what drink she brought back down, but rather, it was all because of her guest that these things mattered.

Guest, of course, in the loosest sense, as Meenah had made her camp in the house what seemed like forever ago. Roxy didn't think it used to smell as strongly like a beach before the past couple months, and that persistent smell (and how used to it she was) marked the troll's duration better than any calendar. That day, there was a faint hint of salt in the air, a bit more than usual. Meenah must have needed a shower and refused to take one. It figured.

The buzz ceased, and a faint beep alerted Roxy that she did not have more time to stare at all her choices. Her hand shot out, grabbed the first bottle it could reach, and she pulled it forward against her chest. She stumbled back a bit, the weight shifting her back a little bit. Roxy gave a small, dark lipped smirk to herself, and set off. 

She took the steps back down to the kitchen two at a time, feet slamming down against the wooden steps. The alcohol sloshed in the bottle, the loud noise filling her ears as she slid into the next room. Polished tiles met her eyes, and she slipped the bottle onto the counter. Green numbers blared at her from the microwave door, reading triple zero. She flung open the white plastic frame. The light glowed, and lit up the popcorn bag sitting inside.

Fluttering fingers gripped the bag, opening the bag and glancing inside. Half the bag was filled with white, popped corn, and with a small shake Roxy could hear the remaining unpopped kernels rattling at the base. She gave another smirk. Placing the bag down carefully, she pulled out a large blue bowl. Humming beneath her breath, she poured the contents of the bag in, each kernel making a _plink_ as it hit the sides of the plastic. The pile sat a bit lopsided, barely meeting the halfway point on it.

"Are you done yet? I'm growing old out here! Cod, you'll have to pry my bones out of your conch!"

Oh, god. Conch? 

"The fucks a conch doing out there?" Roxy yelled back. She opened the cupboard above her head, pulling out a short glass. She looked back at the booze sitting on the marble counter, stretching across and pulling it by the neck beside her. Using a well-practiced grip, she slammed the bottom of the bottle against the counter, and then popped the stopper out. The alcohol poured out from inside the bottle. Roxy placed down the bottle, grabbed the cup, and tilted her head back, downing the drink. 

"You know I meant the fucking couch!"

"Sure did," Roxy muttered. She slid an arm around the bowl, taking the cup and bottle in her other hand. With a few steps she skittered out of the kitchen, following the ever-increasing sounds of muttering and cursing.

"Food's here."

Meenah sat on the black leather couch, feet propped up on the oak table, toes exposed and stretching them, each long toe giving a small crack in the air as they shifted. She tilted her head back, smirking as they made eye contact and giving an especially loud _crack_ of her neck. Roxy shivered, slamming the bowl down on the table beside the grey toes. A few pieces of popcorn escaped out the top, the white contrasting the worn table.

The troll shifted her legs off the table, snatching up the few stray pieces and snarfing them down before she grabbed the entire bowl. She slammed back into the couch, stuffing a hand into the bowl. Roxy sat down beside her carefully, edging a little bit away from the chomping and fury of crumbs flying from Meenah's black lips.

A grey arm slinked around Roxy's shoulders, curling into the white fabric of her t-shirt sleeve. Dark nails clutched it, and Roxy dreaded having to replace yet another shirt. There were only so many nail shaped holes you could wear in your shirts before people started thinking she was poor, homeless, and hated proper arm coverage. The smell of water and dead creature filled Roxy's nose as her face was forced briefly into black fabric. 

With her free hand she gave a solid pinch to the underside of Meenah's arm. The growl was loud in Roxy's ears, and she was freed enough to set down her drink and pour herself another. She gripped the cup, leaning back and trying to get comfortable. There was a minor problem with a spindly, bony arm that counted as her neck rest. She gave another glance at her companion, but the troll was focused at the blue bowl.

"The kelp? This is so half-bassed! Not even cooked!" Meenah glared down and Roxy felt herself grin. "You're tuna tones of awful!"

Roxy snorted. "You're getting worse."

"Fuck you, you're slurring already."

Roxy took a sip, feeling the faint, familiar burn down her throat. "Turn on the TV. I'm bored as hell."

Meenah grabbed the black remote control in her buttered hand, grease slipping over the buttons as she turned on the television. Roxy watched her fingers smooth over the numbers, leaving a trace smudge as she flipped the channel. Minutes passed as the broadcasters changed, cartoons flipped by. Roxy picked under a nail, staring at it between glances at the troll and the TV.

"Can you, like, pick a damn channel?" Roxy moaned, elbowing the troll in the side. Fingers gripped a lock of hair and tugged it to the side, before returning to move the popcorn bowl to the table.

"I'm checking my options! Sea?"

Roxy shuddered, taking a sip. It was never 's-e-e'. Not with her. Never with her.

"What are you drinking?"

Roxy studied the label, squinting forward. Man, maybe she drank a bit too much, or were labels just impossible to read these days? The words wouldn't organize. 

"I dunno. Booze."

"You suck."

Roxy felt a small smirk across her face. Her eyes wandered back to the screen as another image flashed over. She raised the glass to her lips, sipping, as the image flashed again. The screen turned to a blue tint, and the Discovery logo sat in the logo. A shark swam by the camera as a deep, male voice began to speak.

Roxy snorted, feeling heat through the back of her head as the drink almost shot through her nose. She sat forward, coughing and laughing. Her throat burned. Her eyes glanced upwards, the fish filling her vision and the flat screen TV. It was too perfect. It was too hilarious. A cold hand smacked her back hard. She gave a final gasping laugh, wiping a tear from her eye and looking back.

Meenah glared. "The kelp is your problem?"

"'The kelp is your problem?'" Roxy mimicked, scrunching up her face and flairing her nostrils. Meenah glared even harder, lines forming around her nose. Roxy puffed her cheeks. 

"Is that my face? You look like a pufferfish!"

"You mean I look..." Roxy paused. Meenah waited for two seconds before her cheeks began to slowly puff, the lines getting deeper on her face as her eyes formed yellow slits against the grey skin. Roxy cleared her throat, half to stall and half to suppress a laugh. 

"Spit it out!"

" _Coral_ ble? Get it? Cause I said coral instead of horrible!"

The room filled with the sounds of narration and splashing. Roxy felt herself grin, giving a large wink. Meenah stared for a moment, face falling from frustration to shock in a slow slouch of features. 

In a movement her arm snaked around Roxy's neck. She slammed the glass on the table before she had a face full of troll side boob. The grip was hard, and as revenge she snaked a hand around and pinched a piece of grey skin under the dark shirt. She gave a small giggle and Meenah gave a light snarl. The giggle was cut off by a gasp and she punched the troll's stomach before she escaped.

They both took a moment to straighten their shirts out. The screen filled with blue, and then an old man talking about something stupid. Roxy's bet was on fish as she tugged at the hem of her shirt. Fuck if this wasn't the worst show ever, though. 

"The sturgeon is the mightiest of all fish," the male voice droned. Roxy wanted to puke. Maybe that was just the booze, though.

She eyed the remote carefully. It was greasy and gripped by a grey hand, long fingers pressed into the plastic sides as a thumb rubbed over the volume. Roxy skimmed the face of her opponent. Mouth set in a thin scowl, eyes fixed on the flashing screen as commercials blared out. Roxy shifted her weight. Adjusted her skirt totally subtle like. 

She launched across the troll, hands flying outward and grabbing wildly. Man, it was so hard to use your hands well when they refused to function. She flailed, as cursing filled the air. The two struggled. Roxy felt a hand pull her hair back and she snorted, flinging her hand out before grabbing the remote squarely in her own hand. Roxy tugged. And pulled, and struggled backwards.

"It's my remote, shiphead!"

"Gimmie it now we're watching, like, other shits! Dump ass!"

"Cod, you can't talk! Put that mouth to better use and like, lick a lionfish."

"Stop fish pun-ing!"

"That one wasn't a pun. Suck my troll dick, bitch."

Roxy snuck her free hand around, jamming it in the spot below Meenah's ribs and above her hips. The troll grunted, and Roxy pulled the remote free, punching in a few numbers to change the channel.

"Suck that," Roxy gurgled, leaning back on the couch. Meenah's hand still sat in her hair, buried deep and nails pressed into her skull. _Degrassi: The Next Generation_ blared on the screen.

"I hate you so much right now," Meenah spat, teeth grinding together. 

"You stink like fish," Roxy replied, pulling the table a bit closer with her feet and reaching for both her cup and bottle as the chatter of the gaudy show filled the air.


End file.
